First Letter From Edd to the Forum Members
1 One day a man entered a strip joint and sat at a back table. 2 Verily, he did order his minimum of drinks, which numbered two. 3 He sat, expressionless, staring at the strippers, without tipping, without beckoning them over. 4 And, yea, did the strippers avoid him and call him ‘creepy.’
5 All night, the creepy patron did sit and stare. 6 The strippers whispered amongst themselves about the body parts he most likely concealeth in a freezer.
7 But, lo, one stripper did become intoxicated and became much too physical with all the customers. 8 Her coworkers did liken her unto a prostitute and were embarrassed on her behalf. 9 She danced provocatively, yet clumsily, eliciting not tips but pity.
10 Behold, On this day I issue a challenge to unrepentant lurkers: 11 Be not like the creepy patron, staring without participating. 12 Lurk until you have become familiar with these forums, then participate. 13 But do not become like the drunken stripper; remember to post with civility, consideration of others, and make a sincere attempt to verify your contribution is intelligible and interesting and not repetitive.
14 Respect the seriousness of the serious threads and the silliness of the humorous threads, for is not The Flying Spaghetti Monster composed of many noodly appendages, each as omniscient and omnipotent as the next? 15 So it is with the forums.
16 May The FSM guide your hands over your keyboard while protecting it from beverages.