The Letter of Tristan the Martyr to the Future Generations of Society

Chapter 1

1 Dear future generations of society,
2 My name is Tristan [Censored]. 3 I am an 8th grader at [Censored] Middle School. 4 I live in [Censored], Pennsylvania. 5 I am 13 years old. 6 My life is generally okay. 7 I have two sisters and one brother.


Chapter 2

1 Since I am a pastafarian I have and do expirence a lot of religious intolerance. 2 Being pastafarian I belive in the Flying Spagetti Monster to be the one true and only god. 3 Usually when I tell people that I am pastafarian they laugh at me and say “No seriously” 4 This really offends me. 5 I thought that everyone was religiously accepting in this country apparently I was wrong. 6 Yes this is seriously what I totally & completely belive in to be true, RAmen.


Chapter 3

1 I am writing this in the hope that future generations will learn to be more accepting of me and my people. 2 I dream of our heaven and the volcano & factories. 3 How magnificent it will be 4 I also dream and pity all the intolerant people freezing in antartica. 5 I hope in the near future that everyone will realize swine flu is nothing to worry about & that it wont come back stronger in the winter. 6 In the distant future I hope to meet bobby henderson the prophet who was first touched by his noodly apendage.
7 Sincerely, Tristan [Censored]